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Could not find the Database Engine startup handle.

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Why can't Microsoft make software that "Just Works" any more.

This is Sooooo frustrating!  I'm a developer.  I want to write database software and I'd like to use SQL Server.  But I can't even get the damn thing to install on a fresh Windows 8.1 installation. 

MySQL - installs no problem - it just works.

Oracle - Installs no problem - It just works. 

I downloaded SQL Server 2012 Express with SP1, ran the Install, took most of the defaults, and I get:

Install Failed:
The following error has occurred:
Could not find the Database Engine startup handle.

For help, click: http://go.microsoft.com/fwlink?LinkID=20476&ProdName=Microsoft%20SQL%20Server&EvtSrc=setup.rll&EvtID=50000&ProdVer=11.0.3128.0&EvtType=0xD15B4EB2%25400x4BDAF9BA%25401306%254025

Of course, clicking on the link takes me to a non existing web page - what else?  Just incompetence everywhere.  This is Microsoft's own operating system yet they can't even get their own database to install while their competitors can.

How can they let this happen!

Then I googled the above error message.  - Hundreds of hits and a lot of them are threads in forums and lots of civilians saying "try this try that"  none of which works. Not a single Microsoft Employee to be found in any of the discussions or answers.  And this same problem has been happening since 2008! Yet Microsoft can't be bothered to fix it.

This kind of buggy software shouldn't have made it past Alpha testing.

Come on Microsoft, you just have to try harder.  I can understand bugs that happen in unusual circumstances, after all I'm a developer too.  But this won't even install on a clean Windows 8.  It's tantamount to releasing a "Hello World"  program that crashes on startup!


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